THE FINANCIAL MIRROR YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED.
Heaven or Hell started with a simple question: what if someone — or something — could look at your spending and tell you, honestly, how it's going?
Why We Built This
We've all been there. End of the month, you open your bank app, scroll past the transactions a little too fast, and close it. The number is fine. Probably fine. You don't need to look too closely.
The problem isn't the spending — it's the blur. Without a clear picture, it's easy to keep going in the same direction without realising where you're headed.
So we built a mirror. One that doesn't blink, doesn't soften the blow, and doesn't need an appointment or a subscription. Upload your statement, get your verdict in a few minutes, and finally see what's actually going on.
We made the roasts funny because shame spirals don't help anyone. But beneath the humour, the numbers are real — and sometimes that's enough to change things.
How It Works
Two ways in. One verdict out.
Upload your bank statement
Drop a PDF or CSV export from your bank. We support any bank, any country, any currency. We figure out the rest.
Or take the quiz
No file? No problem. Answer 16 honest questions about your spending habits and we'll estimate your tier.
Get your verdict
We analyze your patterns, assign a score from 0–100, drop you into Heaven or Hell, and deliver a roast with badges and actionable tips.
Share, cringe, improve
Your results live in your browser — no account, no storage. Share the pain with friends or email yourself a link to revisit later.
The Two Fates of Judgment
One score. Two outcomes. No in-between.
50 – 100
You actually have your life together. Rare. We salute you.
0 – 49
We're concerned. Your wallet is also concerned. We're all concerned.
What We Stand For
Privacy by default
Your data isn't a product. Your bank statement is processed and discarded — we never see it, store it, or log it.
Honest, not cruel
The roasts are funny, not mean. The goal is clarity, not shame. We want you to laugh, then actually think about it.
Fast, no friction
A few minutes from upload to verdict. No account, no onboarding, no confirmation email. Just the result.
Free, for real
No paywall, no premium tier, no 'basic plan.' The full experience is free because financial insight shouldn't cost extra.
Under the Hood
Your statement is processed in real time and immediately discarded. No database, no storage, nothing to breach. Results live in your browser only.
Built by a Small Team
Heaven or Hell is built by a small team that believes financial clarity should be accessible to everyone. We're not backed by VCs. We're not trying to sell you a premium plan. We built this because it's genuinely useful and a little bit funny, and that felt like enough of a reason.
Ready to Face the Music?
A few minutes. One verdict. No account required. Whatever tier you land in — at least you'll know.
Get My Verdict